Love only to Lose Again
by cherub girl
Summary: My favorite pairing, Seiya and Usagi!! Rated R for language...First song fic thingy...R&R!!! ^_^
1. Standing Still

Title: Love Only to Lose Again?  
  
Author: Cherub Girl  
  
Rating: R (for later songs….you'll understand when you read them)  
  
AN: Hey you guys...This is my first stab at doing a song fic thingy.....I have already picked out 19 songs, for hopefully 19 chapters...We will just have to see how good I am at this.....It is all a little too new.  
  
Disclaimer(s): Oh yeah!! Sailor Moon does not belong to me. If it did, I wouldn't be wasting my time writing here. I would be doing actual homework instead! ^_~ Also, Jewel's song, Standing Still, doesn't belong to me either...If it did, I would be the one making a lot of money!! LOL  
  
**************************************************************************** **  
  
[song lyrics]  
  
*.......* narrator's thoughts, whomever the narrator is for each chapter. It changes, I hope  
  
**************************************************************************** **  
  
[Cuttin' through the darkest night in my two headlights, Trying to keep it clear, but I'm losing it here to the twilight]  
  
The place where I stood was bathed in the wonderful sunlight, annoying my soul which was yearning for darkness.  
  
*Why did I have to leave her? Why did I have to let her go back to him? Why didn't I tell her how I really felt?*  
  
I walked along the hallway of my Princess' palace, waiting to hear her decision on whether or not she was going to let me go back to Earth.  
  
[There's a dead end to my left, there's a burning bush to my right]  
  
A part of me wanted to return yet another part dreaded seeing him again. As the clock slowly ticked, I tried to gather my thought and remember the happiness I felt before leaving Earth, opening myself up to the memories of my last day there. All I can remember are the small tears that she had in her beautiful blue eyes as she hugged me goodbye for what I thought would be the last time. When she went back to him, I could feel tears like hers build inside me.  
  
[You aren't in sight, you aren't in sight]  
  
My thoughts of her blurred as my emotions took control.  
  
*Goodness, I am turning into a mess just thinking about it. Pull yourself together Seiya. You need to be the man that you always portrayed yourself as.*  
  
I suddenly stopped pacing and looked down at the clothes that covered my body, if you would even like to call them clothes. My short leather skirt was slowly inching its way up my legs as I paced while my matching top was heaving slightly.  
  
*A man. Hmm. That is kind of funny. Well if I go back, I certainly won't show myself to her looking like this.*  
  
[Do you want me, like I want you?]  
  
*Are you thinking of me Odango? My thoughts are always on you."  
  
Seeing my Princess' chamber doors opened, I stiffened anticipating defeat.  
  
[Or am I standing still, beneath the darkened sky?]  
  
She only stuck her head out long enough to beckon me inside with one of her sweet smiles.  
  
*Just seeing her smile reminds me of Odango. Same smile, it's haunting.*  
  
I walk inside holding my head up high, knowing that my fate was lying in her hands. I waited patiently for her to tell me her answer, but all she did was smile.  
  
"Sit down Seiya. You look like you are about to keel over."  
  
[Or am I standing still, with the scenery flying by?]  
  
*Why do you tease me like this Princess?*  
  
"Princess Kakyuu, I appreciate your concern, but both you and I know why I am here right now. I am waiting for your decision."  
  
She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it after a second. Gazing at Seiya intensely she opened her mouth once more.  
  
"Please sit down Seiya. Or else I cannot tell you the good news."  
  
[Or am I standing still, out of the corner of my eye?]  
  
"G..good news?"  
  
*It can't be.*  
  
[Was that you passing me by?]  
  
"Yes Seiya. I am allowing Yaten, Taiki and you to return to Earth for as long as you wish to be."  
  
"You are joking right?"  
  
"Why would I joke about something as important as this is? I know that this is something that you honestly want to do with all your heart, and I cannot stand in the way of a heart's desire."  
  
I jumped out of my chair quickly and flung my arms around the girl that has given me all the freedom that I could ever want. Surprised, she hesitates for a brief moment before returning my hug.  
  
"Go to her Seiya. Go to the one that you love."  
  
"Oh Kami-san. Did I do the right thing? Seiya loves her, but did I do the right thing in letting him go to her?"  
  
[Mothers on the stoop, boys in souped-up coupes on this hot summer night]  
  
Kakyuu stood on her balcony, watching as her Starlights gathered to teleport to Earth.  
  
"Oh well. I gave her permission to go, and I will stand behind it."  
  
[Between fight and flight is the blind man's sight and the choice that's right]  
  
Yaten looked at me with a sweet smile on her face.  
  
"What's wrong Seiya? Feeling a little jitterish?"  
  
"No, just wanting to remember home before we leave."  
  
[I roll the window down, feel like I'm gonna drown in this strange town]  
  
I looked around me at took in the wonderful scenery around me. This country that I helped rebuild was nothing more then beauty and unfamiliarity.  
  
[Feel broken down, I feel broken down]  
  
*Am I doing the right thing, coming to you Odango?*  
  
Using their powers, the three girls initiated their teleport sequence and turned to wave goodbye to their Princess. She looked sadly at them, but waved a quick goodbye before stepping back into her room.  
  
"May you be able to finally come to terms with your feelings Seiya. I wish you the best of luck."  
  
I looked at my comrades as our power linked us together. An aura of purple light surrounded us, completing the teleportation sequence.  
  
*I cannot wait. Odango, I hope that you are excited as me.*  
  
[Do you need me, like I need you?]  
  
*Oh God Odango, I have been wanting this for so long. I cannot believe that I am finally achieving what I have been wanting and needing.*  
  
Or am I standing still, beneath the darkened sky?  
  
[Or am I standing still, with the scenery flying by?]  
  
We flew through space like a bat out of heck and I was awestricken as we entered Earth's solar system.  
  
*It is beautiful. Peaceful, dark, and beautiful.*  
  
We landed on Earth in almost the same place were we had left only a few years ago. The area surrounding us was silent until Yaten's voice broke through.  
  
"I am astonished at how much a place can change in only a few years."  
  
I ignored her for a second while looking down at the people passing by below us. The busy scene below made me stop moving and just stare.  
  
[Or am I standing still, out of the corner of my eye?]  
  
*O…Odango!*  
  
[Was that you passing me by?]  
  
Seiya watched as the girl of his dreams passed them by, surrounded by a group of teenage girls who they know as the Sailor Scouts. Realizing that now wasn't the time to show herself, she pulled back from them and focused her attention on Taiki and Yaten who were arguing over where to stay during their visit.  
  
[Sweet sorrow is the call tomorrow, Sweet sorrow is the call tomorrow]  
  
*What will happen when I see you tomorrow Odango, my love?*  
  
[Do you love me, like I love you?]  
  
*I love you Odango. Until tomorrow.*  
  
So, what do you guys think?? I know it must suck, but I am trying. I think I will still continue with the story, even if I get bad reviews cause it is fun to play with some of my favorite songs…Oh, I know that the song doesn't end here, it is just the perfect time to end it. Ja ne! 


	2. Break Stuff

Title: Love Only to Lose Again?  
  
Author: Cherub Girl  
  
Rating: R (for later songs....you'll understand when you read them)  
  
AN: This is one of those songs that makes this fic rated R. I do not use these terms in everyday language, but since I don't have the right to censor these words out, I will let them slide. Please forgive me for cutting out a few lines, if any, from this song. Anything I cut out just didn't flow with what I had in mind. Also, some OOC occurs with a few of the characters, but that s what makes the story unique for me…Enjoy!! ^_^  
  
Disclaimer(s): Oh yeah!! Sailor Moon does not belong to me. If it did, I wouldn't be wasting my time writing here. I would be doing some much needed studying for tests! ^_~ Also, Limp Bizkit's song, Break Stuff, doesn't belong to me either...If it did, I would be washing my mouth out with soap....LOL Just Joking **************************************************************************** **  
  
[song lyrics]  
  
*.......* narrator's thoughts  
  
{recaps}  
  
**************************************************************************** **  
  
[Its just one of those days,]  
  
"Moon Tiara magic!"  
  
Sailor Moon's tiara went flying through the air, severing off the long tentacle that had wrapped itself around Jupiter's throat. The youma screamed in pain as Jupiter dropped onto the ground roughly. Ignoring the others' warnings, Sailor Moon ran over to her to make sure that she was all right.  
  
*Oh God. Why doesn't this thing give up*  
  
[Where you don't want to wake up.]  
  
{The day had started off normal for her. Like always, she was late getting to school and had to stay behind for detention, causing her to stand up Darien for their afternoon date at the arcade. Leaving the school a few hours after everyone else, she decided to take the short cut home through the park. That was when she met up with this horrid seven-armed youma that was picking on the unfortunate couples who were hoping to have a romantic chat with one another. Calling the other scouts quickly, she transformed and went after the beasts, not noticing the three girls watching her from the shadows.}  
  
*Please be all right Makoto*  
  
[Everything is fucked,]  
  
Sailor Moon leaned over Jupiter and checked her wrists for a pulse. Noticing that there was a faint one, she rolled her friend onto her side and checked her over quickly to see if there were any major apparent wounds.  
  
[Everybody sucks.]  
  
"Jupiter, wake up. Please wake up."  
  
Sailor Moon shook her friend lightly, hoping to cause her to stir a little. The girl in her arms moaned softly and opened her eyes for a minute, before shutting them again. Sighing, Sailor Moon reached down and tried to lift the girl up into a sitting position. Seeing that she was trying to move her friend out of harms way, but failing at it, Tuxedo Kamen left the other scouts and went over to help her.  
  
"If we each grab a part of her, we can carry her out of the way."  
  
Sailor Moon looked up at the man that she loved, and smiled sadly.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
[You don't really know why, But you wanna justify,]  
  
After carrying her friend out of the way, she turned back to the battle to see that the other scouts were losing badly. She was surprised to see Uranus and Neptune fighting side by side with the others. Running over to them, she took her position besides the tall wind scout and prepared for another go at the monster.  
  
[Rippin someone's head off.]  
  
Looking at the youma, her eyes closed into slits and she snarled, causing the others to look at her in dismay and shock.  
  
[No human contact, and if you interact, your life is on contract.]  
  
"What are you all staring at? Did I grow another head?"  
  
The other scouts forced themselves to smile then turned back to their opponent, which was regrouping.  
  
"You puny scouts will regret attacking me."  
  
Speaking in an ancient language long forgotten, the youma not only healed his wounds and regenerated his arms (I know that this isn't physically possible, but heck, this is my story!!), but called on fellow youmas to come and help him out. The scouts' mouths dropped as they saw the three other youmas appearing to fight. Regrouping, they fanned out into a wider formation and started to send all their attacks at the same time.  
  
[Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker,]  
  
Raising her moon scepter, Sailor Moon pointed at the leader and prepared to attack.  
  
"You picked the wrong day to mess with us."  
  
[It's just one of those days]  
  
"Moon Scepter Elimination!"  
  
[It's all about the he-says, she-says bullshit,]  
  
Her attack went after the nearest youma and quickly disintegrated it. Following her lead, Venus and Neptune focused their attacks on the other two, smaller, youmas.  
  
"Venus Love Me Chain!"  
  
"Neptune Deep Submerge!"  
  
Their attacks soared through the air, eliminating his other youmas, and then the girls all focused their attention on him. Looking around him, the lead youma decided to leave, and return later with reinforcements.  
  
"You'll regret doing that! When I return again, it will be you all that will be dying!"  
  
With that he left, leaving the scouts looking pissed.  
  
[I think you better quit, talking that shit.]  
  
*They always say that*  
  
**************************************************************************** **************  
  
[Its just one of those days]  
  
*Ugh. I cannot believe that I had to go to detention again. I swear, a sailor scout does not get any breaks*  
  
[Feeling like a freight train. First one to complain,]  
  
Usagi walked down the deserted street on her way to Rei's temple for an important scout meeting. As she passed by the window of her favorite department store, she stopped, gazing at the gorgeous dress in the window. Seeing a familiar shadow in the window, she turns around surprisingly, but is shocked when no one was there.  
  
*I am dreaming things again*  
  
Resuming her walk, she reaches the stairs when a familiar voice came through her wrist communicator. (that sound so Power Rangerish! Ah!! Someone help me!!!)  
  
"Sailor Moon, he's back! And he has brought a lot of his friends with him!"  
  
[Leaves with a bloodstain. Damn right I'm a maniac,]  
  
"I will be right there Mars!"  
  
Usagi reached into her bag and pulled out her locket. Transforming quickly, she headed off towards the high school football field, hoping to get there in time.  
  
**************************************************************************** **************  
  
[You better watch your back,]  
  
"Sparkling Wide Pressure!"  
  
"Mercury Aqua Rhapsody!"  
  
"Mars Fire Surround!"  
  
The girls' attacks hit the youmas, but did nothing to stop their advancement.  
  
"We need help!"  
  
"Moon Starlight Honeymoon Kiss!"  
  
The attack managed to break through the barrier and destroy a few youmas, but the rest continued on, not caring that their numbers had diminished slightly.  
  
"It's about time Sailor Moon!"  
  
Sailor Moon turned towards Mars and shot her an evil glare that shut the girl up. Turning away from her fellow scout, she looks at the main youma, who is excited at her arrival.  
  
"I thought I told you to leave."  
  
[Cause I'm fucking up your program.]  
  
She leveled her scepter at the main youma and proceeded to stare him down while the others battled the extra youma. Not breaking her gaze, Sailor Moon notices as Uranus takes a hit in her right shoulder, causing her to stumble. Sailor Moon shakes her head in disgust at the youma and runs over to help her friend.  
  
[And then you're stuck up,]  
  
"Uranus, are you ok?"  
  
Uranus looked up at Sailor Moon with pure hatred in her eyes. Then looking at her wound, she slowly shakes her head no.  
  
"I'm sorry Sailor Moon, but I can't continue. That youma dislocated my shoulder."  
  
Sighing, Sailor Moon helped her friend quickly over to a safe area then proceeded back to the fight. Watching the others throw out attacks relentlessly, she noticed that they were tiring quickly.  
  
*We need help*  
  
[You just lucked up,]  
  
"Pluto Dead Scream!"  
  
Sailor Moon whipped around to see the arrival of two more scouts. Smiling in relief, she runs to greet them quickly.  
  
"Pluto, Saturn. We are grateful to have your help here. How did you know to come?"  
  
"I felt a disturbance in the Time Line and Saturn insisted on checking up on her mama and papa."  
  
Sailor Moon turned to the younger girl with a big smile on her face.  
  
"Thank you for coming Saturn. We appreciate it."  
  
Saturn said nothing, but returned her with a smaller smile. Turning back to the fight, Sailor Moon felt more confident that they could win.  
  
[Next in line to get fucked up.]  
  
"Moon Tiara Magic!"  
  
Cutting its way through various parts of youma arms and legs, it turns before it could reach the lead youma and returns to Sailor Moon, causing youma to dodge out of its way.  
  
[Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker,]  
  
"Why don't you creatures just die?"  
  
[It's just one of those days, It's all about the he-says, she-says bullshit,]  
  
Sailor Moon kept using her tiara to dismember the youmas while the scouts kept sending attacks out. The youmas kept coming, even though they were losing numbers quickly.  
  
"Mars Celestial Fire Surround!"  
  
Mars' attack bore down on the remaining youmas, burning them to death, then focused on the leader who was, once again, left all alone.  
  
[I think you better quit, let the shit slip, Or you'll be leaving with a fat lip.]  
  
"Better give up youma! It is already too late for you, and you cannot deny death any longer!"  
  
The youma looked at the scouts, and Tuxedo Kamen, with an evil glare in his eyes, then threw his head back and laughed.  
  
"Who said that I was leaving?"  
  
[It's all about the he-says, she-says bullshit,]  
  
The scouts looked at him in confusion, but kept themselves ready for anything. Sailor Moon, not wanting to let him say anything further, threw her tiara without any warning. To her surprise, the tiara just spun in front of her, then dropped to the ground, useless for any more attacks.  
  
"What the heck?"  
  
The youma watched a look of surprise cross her face before breaking up into more laughter.  
  
"Don't you realize what I have done? The youmas were only a distraction. While you were fighting them, I was creating this dome. Now your attacks are useless and you will not be able to escape my clutches."  
  
[I think you better quit, talking that shit. Ohh, so come and get it.]  
  
The scouts looked at him in dismay, not wanting to believe what he said.  
  
"Tuxedo, the Smoking Bomber!"  
  
Tuxedo Kamen stared at the others as his attack never came. Sailor Moon sighed, knowing that they had gotten themselves into more then what they asked for.  
  
[I feel like shit, My suggestion is to keep your distance.]  
  
*Well, I guess he has one up on us now*  
  
[Cause right now I'm dangerous.]  
  
The youma, not giving any of them a chance to think of a plan, starting blasting them left and right with attacks. The scouts stared dodging the attacks, but were a little late for they had already received more damage then they could handle.  
  
[We've all felt like shit, And been treated like shit.]  
  
**************************************************************************** *******  
  
Seiya watched as the scouts were starting to grow tire and were unable to fight back. From the branch above him, Taiki watched as Sailor Moon's frustrations were growing out of control.  
  
[All those motherfuckers, That wanna step up,]  
  
Yaten glared at Seiya, waiting for him (AN: yes, they are guys right now) to say something, but he was engrossed in the battle going on.  
  
"Seiya, we have to do something!"  
  
"I know Yaten. I was just thinking about what will happen when we interfere in their lives once more."  
  
Not being able to watch anymore, he turned his head towards Yaten and Taiki and nodded.  
  
"Lets do it."  
  
[I hope you know, I pack a chainsaw.]  
  
"Starmaker Make-up!"  
  
"Starhealer Make-up!"  
  
"Starfighter Make-up!" (AN: hopefully I am using the right transformations)  
  
As their transformations completed, Seiya (AN: I prefer using their names instead of their scout names. It is easier for me to keep track of them. Sorry) through an attack out trying to break through the barrier.  
  
[I'll skin your ass raw,]  
  
"Star Serious Laser!"  
  
[And if my day keeps going this way, I just might, Break something tonight]  
  
Seiya's attack hit the shield and caused it to break. The scouts, surprised at the sudden disappearance of the shield and the reappearance of their powers, turn around to see who could have possibly saved them from the clutches of the youma. They were surprised when they came in contact with Seiya, Yaten, and Taiki.  
  
[I pack a chainsaw. I'll skin your ass raw,]  
  
Wanting to laugh at the dropped mouths of the scouts, Taiki controls herself and sends her attack at the youma.  
  
"Star Gentle Uterus!"  
  
[And if my day keeps going this way, I just might, Break something tonight]  
  
Surprised, the youma tries to dodge the attack, but ends of losing an arm. Glaring at the youma, which is still sending counterattacks their way, Yaten tries to end it once and for all.  
  
[I pack a chainsaw. I'll skin your ass raw,]  
  
"Star Sensitive Inferno!"  
  
[And if my day keeps going this way, I just might, Break your fucking face tonight.]  
  
Yaten's attack stuns the youma and causes his guard to drop. Seeing this, Jupiter decides to exact her revenge before Sailor Moon could eliminate him.  
  
[Give me something free.]  
  
"Jupiter Supreme Thunder!"  
  
[Just give me something free.]  
  
"Sparkling Wide Pressure!"  
  
[I got your fucking face.]  
  
"Jupiter Thunder Dragon!"  
  
[So come and get it.]  
  
"Jupiter….."  
  
[It's all about the he-says, she-says bullshit,]  
  
"Jupiter, stop!!!"  
  
[I think you better quit, let the shit slip]  
  
Jupiter stopped her attack and turned around to face Sailor Moon.  
  
"What's wrong Sailor Moon?"  
  
"Jupiter, look at him. You have done enough. Let me finish it up."  
  
Jupiter looked at the youma and then nodded at Sailor Moon.  
  
"Moon Scepter Elimination!"  
  
[Or you'll be leaving with a fat lip.]  
  
The youma looked up as Sailor Moon's attack reached him. Screaming in agony, he disintegrated, leaving the scouts alone with their visitors.  
  
[It's all about the he-says, she-says bullshit,]  
  
The scouts faced the Starlights, amazed at the three girls that just saved them from destruction. Tuxedo Kamen extended his hand and started to welcome them, but Seiya cut him off.  
  
[I think you better quit, talking that shit.]  
  
Crossing over to Sailor Moon, she detransformed, as he placed an arm on her shoulder. Sailor Moon turned around flabbergasted, with tears streaking down her face and more gathered in the corner of her eyes.  
  
*Gods*  
  
[Ohh, so come and get it.]  
  
"S...Seiya?!"  
  
**************************************************************************** ***************  
  
Hey look! It's a longer chapter! I have decided not to post the next chapter until I get some reviews. Come on people...I need to know how I am doing! LoL.......Please, any reviews welcomed. I just want the help. ^_^ 


	3. Cryin'

Title: Love Only to Lose Again?  
  
Author: Cherub Girl  
  
Rating: R (for later songs....you'll understand when you read them)  
  
AN: Is a more timid chapter then the last one. I decided that I need to take a break from the whole rock song thing…I was planning on doing another rock song for this chapter. A few words I did change, just to make the story fit the song. PLEASE FORGIVE ME!! I had to remove a huge chunk of the refrain….I am so sorry minna, but at least this chapter is done. Also, some OOC occurs with a few of the characters, but that is what makes the story unique for me…Enjoy!! ^_^  
  
Disclaimer(s): Oh yeah!! Sailor Moon does not belong to me. If it did, I would be in Japan watching all the Jap. Animation that I could handle, or at least living in another city and not hot Tucson! ^_~ Also, Aerosmith's song, Cryin', isn't mine, or else I wouldn't bother staying in school….Hello Hollywood!! LOL  
  
**************************************************************************** **  
  
[Song lyrics]  
  
*.......* narrator's thoughts, I am sorry, but Usagi is the narrator again…..GOMEN!  
  
{Recaps}  
  
**************************************************************************** **  
  
[There was a time]  
  
I watched as the blood went down the drain, the last of my wounds cleansed from the awful battle of the night. Creeping quietly, I wandered back into my room, hoping that my parents weren't disturbed by my arrival. Climbing into bed, I settled down for some much-needed sleep, but events from that night postponed my wanted bliss.  
  
*Oh Gods, what is he doing back here? I can still remember the first time I saw him*  
  
[When I was so brokenhearted]  
  
{I just stood there as my beloved checked with the steward about his upcoming flight. I stared at him as he ran a hand through his midnight black hair, wondering how he could leave me all alone. He turned back to me, causing his smile to falter as he noticed the expression on my face.  
  
"Now, quit looking so sad Usako. I will only be gone for a few years, but I promise that I will come back every once and awhile for holidays and breaks."  
  
[Love wasn't much of a friend of mine]  
  
"I realize that Mamo-chan, but even a few months away from you is agony. How will I last all those years with only seeing you once in awhile?"  
  
He flinched as he heard the distance in my voice. I didn't mean to be this sad, but the love of my life is leaving me. Crossing over to me, he took me in his arms and kissed me one last time.  
  
"I have to go Usako. They are calling my flight number."  
  
Looking up at him, I drew him closer one last time, before letting him walk out of my life for some time. I watched him board the plane, and then watched the plane until it was out of sight. Sinking into the chair, I hardly noticed as three boys streaked pass me, hurrying for the nearest exit. Little did I know that the one boy with long black hair would play a major role in my life.}  
  
[The tables have turned, yeah]  
  
*Oh Seiya, why have you really returned? You couldn't possibly believe that things would have changed since the last time. You know that I am not alone anymore*  
  
['Cause me and them ways have parted]  
  
I stared at my room and watched as things went blurry. Shaking my head, I was surprised to see myself crying.  
  
*You can't believe that I haven't broken up with him. I love Mamo-chan*  
  
[That kind of love was the killin' kind]  
  
Jumping from the bed, I ran into my bathroom just in time to reach the toilet before losing my dinner.  
  
*Why am I reacting this way*  
  
Sitting there, I waited until the wave of nausea left me. Getting up on shaky legs, I stumbled to my bed and climbed in, hoping for sleep. Unfortunately, my thoughts didn't agree with what my body wanted. I looked at the wall as memories from the past flooded my head.  
  
{I sat in my school desk crying because another morning came without any word from Mamoru. Minako looked at me questionably, but didn't bother asking me what was wrong for she knew that I wouldn't explain. I sighed as I looked at the teacher, hoping that class would spare me from despair. That was when I first saw him. The guy that made me wonder if the future was something for me to hold onto.  
  
[All I want is someone I can't resist]  
  
He just walked into the room, knowing that every girl was staring at him, drooling. Out of everyone, he decided to sit next to me. Me! Err, I was always dealing with these cocky morons. He smiled at me, nodding his head, acknowledging my presence. Right away I knew that he wanted me as his prize. Little did I know that I was waiting for the right person to challenge my relationship with Mamoru. Are we set in stone like the future says? Could Seiya change the way that I thought of love?}  
  
[I know all I need to know by the way that I got kissed]  
  
I tossed in my bed for a few moments, trying to rid my impure thoughts of my Seiya.  
  
*How could I have done those things to Mamoru. I had never wanted to be unfaithful before. What does Seiya have that brings out the worst in me*  
  
[I was cryin' when I met you]  
  
I buried my head into my pillow, silencing the sobs that raked through my body.  
  
[Now I'm tryin to forget you]  
  
*Go away Seiya. Go away*  
  
[Your love is sweet misery]  
  
I paced around my room, making bare spots on the worn in carpet. I just could not figure out why he was here.  
  
*Seiya, I have changed since that time in the Ferris Wheel*  
  
I could remember it clearly.  
  
[I was cryin' just to get you]  
  
{He took my to the park. I am hanging out with a popular, cute rock star and he chose me over all the other girls.  
  
*Why me*  
  
He escorted me to the nearest ride, the Ferris Wheel, and held open the door for me. I stepped in, knowing that what could happen in there might affect me for the rest of my life.  
  
"Odango, what are you thinking about?"  
  
His voice snapped me out of my daydream about Mamoru and into the reality of the world.  
  
"It's nothing Seiya."  
  
"I know you too well to know that it is nothing Usagi. Now what is bothering you?"  
  
I shook my head, bothered that he wouldn't let it go.  
  
"Seiya, if I wanted you to know, I would tell you."  
  
Seiya looked surprised at my comment.  
  
"Usa-ko, you know I would do…."  
  
At that word, my head snapped around to him.  
  
"Don't you dare call me that. You aren't my boyfriend Seiya, and you never will be. Why can't you accept the fact that I love someone else, and that I always will?"  
  
After saying that I broke down in the seat and started to cry, unable to contain my frustration anymore. Seiya shifted slowly to where I was and put his arm around my shoulders, coaxing my head onto his shoulder. Unable to resist, I cried on his shoulder for what seemed like an eternity before the tears ran out. Seiya, noticing that I had become silent, lifted my chin slightly until we were eye level. Leaning down, he brushed his lips against mine to create one of the sweetest kisses I have ever had. Giving in, I opened my mouth to him and deepened the kiss further.  
  
[Now I'm dyin' 'cause I let you]  
  
*Oh my gosh. What have I done*  
  
[Do what you do-down on me]  
  
I pushed Seiya away, just as I felt my body starting to go over the edge. He looked at me surprised at what happened, then smiled, coming down for more. I stopped him just before we made contact again. I scooted away as far as possible from him and stared at the scenery passing by.  
  
[Now there's not even breathin' room]  
  
"What's wrong Odango?"  
  
*What did I just do? I have just crossed the line*  
  
[Between pleasure and pain]  
  
"I think you know what is wrong Seiya."  
  
*I won't cry. I won't cry*  
  
[Yeah you cry when *we fall in* love]  
  
"Usagi, we just connected in a special way, something that we obviously both wanted. Now you are acting like it was wrong, when we both know that it wasn't!"  
  
[Must be one and the same]  
  
I looked over at him and before I could mentally react, I physically reacted by slapping him.  
  
[It's down on me]  
  
"Usagi, what was that for?"  
  
I looked at him, partially ashamed of what I did, partially confused of what had happened, but mostly upset at the way he was handling it.  
  
[Yeah, I got to tell you one thing, It's been on my mind]  
  
"I am in love with Mamo-chan. Why can't you accept that? I don't want you to push yourself onto me anymore. I like you as a friend, but that will never change. I appreciate your concern, but please, don't try to pursue me anymore."  
  
[Boy* I gotta say, We're partners in crime]  
  
"I don't know how I am going to explain all of this to Mamo-chan, if we I ever hear from him."  
  
I shivered; thinking about the reaction that Mamoru was going to have after hearing my affair.  
  
*What will he think? Will he still love me*  
  
"Don't tell him Odango. Or at least don't tell him that you responded. Just tell him that I forced myself on you and then you whacked the heck out of my face afterwards for it."  
  
Seiya smiled, and I could tell that it was a sad one. I knew that that kiss would always be in his mind. I kept staring at him, unable to break away.  
  
*What is it about him*  
  
[You got that certain something]  
  
The ride slowed as we reached the bottom, and Seiya moved back into his respected seat, no longer looking at me. I wondered if now he was fully feeling the agony that I am going through.  
  
"I'm sorry Seiya."  
  
[What you gave* to me, Took* my breath away]  
  
"Don't be sorry about it. I refuse to be. I know that I was doing what my heart told me to do and I don't regret it. I am just sorry that it had to end that way. See you later."  
  
With that he walked away, leaving me standing there, watching as his form disappeared from site.}  
  
[Now the word out on the street, Is the devil's in your kiss]  
  
My hand traveled to my lips as I remembered the forbidden kiss that we shared.  
  
*I never told Mamoru what happened that day. I couldn't face the thought of hurting him that much. It would have been my fault if would have never forgiven me*  
  
[If our love goes up in flames]  
  
I looked around the room, glancing over the pictures of Mamoru and me, my friends, and so on until I landed on the last picture on my shelf; the one of Seiya and me before they left to go home.  
  
*Even as they were leaving, he was still very much in love with me. I always did wonder what would happen if he returned*  
  
[It's a fire I can't resist]  
  
I stopped pacing, and finally climbed into bed, hoping to get some rest before morning came. Glancing out the window I noticed my reflection on the glass, how my red eyes gave away the tears that had streaked down my face earlier that night.  
  
[I was cryin' when I met you]  
  
I shook my head, hoping to rid the thoughts of my kiss with Seiya, but to no avail.  
  
[Now I'm tryin to forget you]  
  
Pictures of Seiya kept running through my head every time I closed me eyes.  
  
[Your love is sweet misery]  
  
As I just lay here, I couldn't help wondering why I had done what I did. I could feel the tears start to come as I wondered why I went on the ride, why I did everything I did to keep Seiya's attention always on me.  
  
[I was cryin' just to get you]  
  
*Why did I cheat on Mamoru? Why with Seiya? Why was I so weak back then? Why can't I forgive myself*  
  
[Now I'm dyin' 'cause I let you]  
  
I was taken back as the first lights of day started to dot the horizon.  
  
*Is it morning already? Did I really spend all night thinking of Seiya*  
  
[I was cryin' when I met you]  
  
I looked out the window as the sun started to rise. Watching the colors appear into the darkness, I broke down as the tears racked my body once more.  
  
*Why Seiya? Why*  
  
[Now I'm tryin to forget you]  
  
**************************************************************************** ****  
  
Sorry that this chapter took me so long, and yet it really sucks. I am having problems with my muse. He has decided to leave me. This song is wonderful I just couldn't get my thoughts to run right. I am not putting up anymore chapters without some reviews. Sad thing is that I have lost all the song lyrics I was going to use, so now it is back to remembering what songs I wanted…Oh well…Please review. Anything is welcomed, even if it is flames! Flames could help me revise this chapter so that it flows better…. Ja ne 


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